Reverse Parenting

4 min readJul 17, 2022


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“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” — Robert Fulghum

Parents are always busy rearing their children despite constraints in their lives. Children sometimes feel their parents are not up to the mark for their expectations when they grow up. They find the generation gap and sometimes even advise their parents to act in a particular fashion. They feel that parents should change their behavior in such a way that it should match them during modern times. A father walks a mile and saves some penny, but his son may spend some penny and save time. Both are correct in their status and position.

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Treat Your Parents As They Treat You

Sometimes you feel that your parents are conservative. But you know, when you were born, the doctors demanded money almost ten times their monthly income for your caesarean section as normal delivery was not possible. When you were admitted to the school, the fee took a toll on their earnings. They started being conservative and saved money for future requirements like admission to medical or engineering colleges so that you could spend lavishly on needs like education, housing, and even your marriage.

You may say, “Mom, you do not understand!” But you know, when you were in the cradle and crying, she could understand what kind of pain you had in your stomach. Sometimes children feel their parents are not so wealthy, just like their neighbors. They have not enjoyed the time and sacrificed because they thought the saved money would be helpful for their children. Your father struggled to kick start the old scooter and might not have purchased the costly bike because there is something in their mind that you may enjoy the ride of the luxurious car in the future. Even during your early rearing, your mother skipped milk by saying that it did not suit her, but she didn’t take it because it was only sufficient to feed you.

I was astonished to watch a video presented by a young couple when they arranged to welcome their mother just like a new bride at a newly purchased home with flowers and decorations. She could not stop tears from her eyes, which must have been one of the happiest moments in her life. Give such kinds of surprises to your parents occasionally. If they have hurt you in any way, think twice, the incident may be for your benefit.

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Forgive Your Parents

Sometimes you feel your parents are annoyed with you and do not understand your feelings. When situations are tense and they cannot cope, they may be slightly angry. Do you not know how often they decided to take diversity in their life? They did not take it because you were the prime reason they did not to get separated. It was pretty impossible to make two ends meet due to lower salaries and extensive expenses incurred in their day-to-day life.

It was quite impressive when one of the greatest monks of India expressed feelings about his parents. He said that he did not forgive his father for two years when he was alive. Later, nobody was available to him to forgive. So, forgive your parents unconditionally. You do not know for how much time they are with you. They have not only invested their money for future use, also their time and loved you beyond capacity so that you can have a better time and a bright future.

Schedule Your Time With Parents

Your parents have sacrificed their time for your comfort during your early and later child-rearing practices. They did not wear better clothes because they thought they could provide the ones for you.

During their grey days, they do not require any monetary benefits. They need your time and attention. Never leave them in lonely situations. If you make them happy, definitely your life will be better. I am reminded of an incident in West Bengal in India about a chartered accountant. He had a lot of money, but their children and wife usually ignored him. He had one servant looking after his all needs round the clock. When he died, his will revealed that his property worth 500 crores in Indian rupees was nominated in his servant’s name. There was no land under their feet when their family learned the fact. How can you be so ignorant that forget everything about every happy situation in your life? This may be a wake-up call for you to start paying more attention to your parents’ needs. They have had a caring attitude toward you, it’s your time to reciprocate the love.

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Care for your parents the way they have cared for you. You will have the happiest moments forever.

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Former aircraft engineer IAF, Retired Branch Manager SBI, Psychologist, Best Selling Author & Defence Recruitment Trainer