“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
-Bernard M. Baruch
Humans roughly talk about 60–70% with others. Out of all time, they talk with themselves for the rest of the time. Whether positive or negative, they talk profoundly. You must have seen some individuals who are talking even when they are alone. They derive pleasure while speaking and may sometimes be sad also. The feeling of talking is just like that of food, sex, or other materialist needs. If we know how the brain works and reacts, we can control such talking desirably.
Mesolimbic Dopamine System
Once a person is talking with oneself, he is associated with the mesolimbic dopamine system. The subject system is the roadmap of dopamine traveling from one place to other in the brain. Just like the chocolate of a child, dopamine is responsible for pleasure and reward. The whole internal system of the specific area of the brain is activated by linking to the limbic system. The mesolimbic dopamine system is associated with the functions of movement, preservation, and compulsion.
There are five types of dopamine receptors in our brain. These receptors play a vital role in the brain processes of cognition, motivation, memory, and learning. Here neurons also play a significant role in the synthesizing of dopamine.
Behavior Recognition
Once we know the internal structure or pathways of dopamine and how it travels to other parts, it will be easy for us to control our talking. While talking to others or talking to yourself, you can recognize the undesirable words. You can give little punishment to yourself like pinching to a particular place in the body or closing your eye for some time, or uttering some good gossips. Your good friend may be helpful when you are in conversation and confront such words.
When you are listening to somebody, you generally feel that it is your story. Put the legs in the shoes of the person who is narrating the story. The person is sharing the story with his perspective and observe it in the third person only.
Be vigilant and do not allow yourself to focus on yourself about the narration. For example, when your friend talks about horse riding, do not try to shift the focus to cycling because it is your hobby. Instead, let his preference be confined to him only. Instead of pointing him out your ways, prefer to say, “That is awesome!”
When you are listening with concentration, your full attention is with him, and there are fewer chances of talking to yourself, all
most negligible. For example, suppose a friend asks about the readings and says, “What type of books do you prefer to read?” You can tell, “ I generally read self-help books and positive mental attitude books.” And then you can make him the goalkeeper by saying, “Have you read any self-help book?”
It is always good to be a good listener, but you may not be constructive in your conversation. So it is always better to note down some points and express your opinion later on. It will encourage you to focus on what you want to say according to your point of view.
Your Approach to Conversation Matters
If you may have a good vocabulary, but you may not be a good orator. When your friend is talking, and you are cutting his talk in between because you know the matter better is a bad manner. Let him talk when it is his turn. Allow your friend equal time to talk about himself, giving him your full attention.
You may not always be correct. But, concentrate on what he says and try to learn and grow because what you know you know, but what you do not know, you do not know. Sometimes we stick to our plan and ignore the opinion of our counterparts. The conversation should be like sportsman spirit rather than the interactions against each other.
Prioritize what you can learn. For example, when you are ordering fruit juice, you can say, “I like pineapple because I read vitamin C is there in an adequate proportion.” Instead of saying, “you can also take.” Prefer to say, “what do you like?” and let your counterpart respond. What he or she prefers matters the most.
Always opine considering your point of view, which may or may not be the other’s view. Consider the opinions of others and think for the next level of learning.
Use Specific Conversation techniques
When you have crafted a good subtitle of your book, always give credit that I could have such an excellent book cover only with my friend’s guidance. Self-certification is generally considered an aberrant manner. Instead, always illuminate people, for instance, “Your idea of growing more trees is wonderful because ozone layer and oxygen are a matter of concern.”
Listening is fantastic art, and therefore listen carefully and try to talk when your counterpart puts the ball in your court. But, again, your body language, like nodding, smiling, raising eyebrows, etc., are essential gestures as they show that you are pretty sincerely engaged in the talk.
Instead of telling ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ ask helpful questions. If your friend says, “I like blue color.” You can prefer, “Why do you like blue?” instead of simply saying, “yes.”
Always validate the statement told by your friend. For example, you can say, “It is one of the most insightful thoughts of yours I have come across!”
There are some vital tips that you can also remember while speaking to a friend or across the audience.
1. Treat Throat Like Piano
Your throat is like a beautiful musical instrument. Others like the sweet voice of the device. In the same way, you can make your voice sweeter through specific practices. Being an artist of All India Radio in singing, I had been undergoing rehearsals to condition the vocal chord to have a sound vibration at definite intensity. Moreover, practicing high and low pitch may add laurels to your speech.
2. Diaphragm Secret
Another critical aspect is the fitness of your lungs and diaphragm in your stomach. Breathing in and breathing out at a specified rate is essential. Your continuous faster breathing may not energize you to talk or address adequately. Some of the breathing techniques, along with yoga and meditation, may add smell to gold.
3. Respiration Is Inspiration
Breath is life. The moment you took birth to the time you will be here, the only process that is with you all the time is breathing. The moment breathing stops, your soul will leave your body. That’s why all spiritual teachers remind you to pay attention to the breath.
When you breathe in, feel the love of others, and when you breathe out, feel that you distribute love. Your air inside and the air outside is the love you give and take. Your inhaling and exhaling is the language of the soul.
You desire to live in love, joy, happiness, and prosperity. So inhale all that you like and exhale everything the way people love it. It is the simplest way to transform your life.
Key Take Away
1. “Be careful when you talk to yourself and others.”
2. “Always know when you have to shut the mouth.”
