Become Your Best When Life Gives You Its Worst

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“Cats are marvellous creatures — they either adapt to circumstances, or decide to make circumstances adapt to them. Either way — they win.”-Will Advise

The amount of intensity of the wind during storm can not do any harm to the stronger trees. Because the stronger trees have their roots stronger. Some of the trees which are very weak may fall down and be destroyed as their roots are not strong. In the same manner no life situation can harm you if you are stronger within. Your thought process should be very much strong and positive so that no external storm of environment can do any to harm you.

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Environment is the opportunity

It depends upon you how do you take it. Some people may start complaining that circumstances were not favouring but some people may be swimming against the current and say that I became stronger because the environment was not friendly.

Albert Einstein always said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” You have to be consistent with yourself how you define yourself.

Tony Robbins once said, ” One of the greatest days in human beings life on the journey of emotional maturity is the day that we realize that the life is not a comfort centric experience but growth centric experience.”

KR Goswami

Power Of Acceptance

If you are complaining about something that has already happened you are wasting your time. Accept the zero tolerance policy on your own thinking for any thought that started with “if only” or “what if” why because you can not go back and change anything. What is in your control is your next move to deal with what has happened in fact.

When Thomas Alva Edition saw his factory burning with ashes and thought nothing can be controlled now, he told to his son, “Call your mom, she must have not seen such a huge fire in her life!” When one of his friends came and passed his condolences, he said, “My all mistakes burned, let me start with new ones!”

Properties of millions of dollars were lost but he never lost is emotion because he had the power of acceptance. Napoleon Hill said, “”Within every adversity is the seed to an equal or greater benefit.”

Contrast Frames

The contrast effect is a magnification or diminishment of perception as a result of previous exposure to something of lesser or greater quality, but of the same base characteristics. The term can more clearly been learnt with following two contrast examples.

(A) Negative Frame Effect

In my early childhood when my father gave me mango I was feeling pretty well but after half an hour when my younger brother arrived and my father gave him two mangoes. Al though he was my real brother to whom I loved very much but for a moment I did not like the way my father acted. Later on during my psychology practical I learnt that if I have to give a pencil to my son I will make sure I will give to my daughter also al though still there is partial piece is left with her.

(B) Positive Frame Effect

During one of the webinar of online digital course the presenter showed joining fees as $100. The figure was burning in my mind but later on when he reduced to $ 60 as a special case for next 15 minutes that was cheaper than the first offer. It was a part of sales technique in which first offer was shown quite expensive than the later that seemed inexpensive compared to the first one. People adopt to change their minds, by changing either the context in which they are seeing an event, or the meaning that they give to it.

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Man’s search for meaning by Viktor Frankl

During early days of my training in Air Force, I had many adjustment problems in my barrack of training camp. We had to put off lights before 10 pm, get up at 5 am for health run, get ready for parade at 7 am. Learning about fighters and other aircrafts from 10 am to 4 pm. Again getting ready at 5 pm for physical training and work outs. I thought of leaving the training especially when there was intension scarcity of water to make us more stronger for harder times. In those days, there was nobody to help me and finally I sought the advise of my elder brother who was sports teacher in high school. I can never forget my brother who left for heavenly abode at the age of 37 years after presenting me a book “Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl” which is a memoir of Frankl’s imprisonment in concentration camps during World War II and a brief description of the principles of logo-therapy, a school of psychotherapy that he founded.

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Frankl and his family were imprisoned in concentration camps during the war. Frankl was held in several camps before he was liberated from the last in 1945. During his time in the camps, Frankl witnessed the extreme cruelty of camp guards and the prisoners who were given special status by them, also known as Capos. He also witnessed the cruelty of the prisoners to each other as they underwent the three stages of reaction to their imprisonment. These stages are denial, acceptance, and adjustment after their release.

Frankl discovered that although the prisoners seemed completely powerless, they had the freedom to choose their reactions to their circumstances. Those prisoners who were most resilient were those who had something to live for!

I never had any complaint of circumstances till now after reading this powerful book.

Take Away

1. In any prevailing circumstances, there are two choices. You can continue to be cruel to yourself or you can be kind to yourself.

2. There are many things in life you cannot control but how about the things that you can control? Take action.

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Former aircraft engineer IAF, Retired Branch Manager SBI, Psychologist, Best Selling Author & Defence Recruitment Trainer

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Former aircraft engineer IAF, Retired Branch Manager SBI, Psychologist, Best Selling Author & Defence Recruitment Trainer

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