“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future” -John F Kennedy
Change is an ability to accept what you can not control rather than what you can control. Change is always constant in our life. Resistance to change is the de-acceleration of our progress. If you do not accept change you fall prey to decay. When you have hindrance to changing situations, You worsen your abilities just like rotten iron. As saying goes that ‘fittest will survive’, if you escape the impact of change, you may elope gradually like dinosaurs.
Step Out Of Comfort Zone
The main cause for refraining from change is the fear. It is always the false event appearing real. When you are travelling in the train and all of a sudden somebody enters in the compartment, you must have heard voices, “There is no place here, go to next compartment!” You want to be more and more comfortable and do not want to be disturbed in existing situation. The person who has entered stays back with leap of faith in spite of trivial remarks but after sometime you gradually start talking to him and he becomes your companion.
The change may be planned like working hours of your organisation. You may have to get up little early if the business hours are advanced for a couple of hours or it may be unplanned like changing the place of residence which was caught in fire and house hold goods were destroyed beyond economical repair.
Denial And Acceptance Of Change
When doctor declared to me that my brother who was in one of the Air Defence Regiments in Army could not survive for a couple of years, I was in denial state of change. Generally the emotional pain lasts for few minutes and definitely the later time is only reflection. I accepted the uncontrolled change and took him to our home place.
Some of the unplanned changes can be accepted with reading of books, listening podcast or discourses from valuable dignitaries. With combinations of some of them I took a masters course in psychology for two years to understand the sclerosis in brain and some of the curing techniques for subject ailment through abnormal psychology, simultaneously looking after my younger brother. The adopted change could increase the possibilities and hopes for my brother who survived for next 13 years.
Change Your Habits and Change Your Life
Some of the individuals are adapting to bad habits like alcohol or drugs to compensate the denial or unbearable tragedy or sudden incapacitation. But this is the wrong way of adaptation. The right ways may be related fruitful readings.
Books are definitely the path ways for volunteer changes. The one thing I liked the most about the book reading is wonderful fact that you can never argue! Following three master pieces made drastic positive changes in my life.
First is ‘Million Dollar Habits” by Brian Tracy. The author thought process changed my life to form 21 new habits from progressive personal life to growing corporate job interactions.
Second is “5 am Club” by Robin Sharma. Changing habit of late night owl to early rising bird made physical and mental fitness more stronger for fighting with day to day stresses.
Third one is “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. The book taught me the ways for acceptance, recognition and need to change, decision to change and acceptance of change for the betterment and universal affirmation.
Kintsugi Technique
It is Japanese art of repairing broken pottery as a new work of art with gold. New work of art is transformed into new form or work with an adapted change in structure.
The name of the technique is derived from the words “Kin” (golden) and “tsugi” (joinery), which translate to mean “golden repair.”
Just like the ceramic piece or the pottery, several human beings have cracks in their lives and sojourned to emotional break down. Even piece of ceramic is not wasted and thrown away, how can valuable human life be neglected? The change you could make just like the golden filling in ceramic, you can adapt the change in their lives. You can never know how your efforts may transform them to live in their golden era.
5 Strategies for Adapting to Change
Career Resilience Coach Kathryn Sandford has give following 5 strategies in Lifehack[1] to enable, adapt and successfully manage change in your life.
1. Changing Your Mind-set — Your Power Choice
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything”. — George Bernard Shaw
We like to live our lives in our comfort zone. Our subconscious likes this because it is the “known”. Embracing change is stepping into the unknown and our subconscious will does not like the “unknown.” so it will resist.
Our fear and self-limiting beliefs will kick into action when we are faced with the disruptive consequences of change. There is no escaping the fact that change is a disruptor and it feels uncomfortable and scary. However, it is our power of choice that enables us to activate positive change in our lives.
We cannot control the events of change in our life, but we can control how we react to the impact that these events have on our lives.
“Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. The message: we are what we chose to be.” — Graham Brown
The more you use your power of choice and the more you focus your mind-set on positively adapting to change, the more resilient you will be to dealing with impact that change will bring to your life.
2. Find Meaning In Life
“Step out of your comfort zone. Comfort zones, where your unrealized dreams are buried, are the enemies of achievement. Leadership begins when you step outside your comfort zone.” ― Roy T. Bennett
Knowing what is important in your life gives you purpose and sets the direction of how you want to live your life. With a sense of purpose and meaning in life, you have clarity and focus and both these elements are essential to you being able to successfully adapt and manage the impact of change in your life.
Having no purpose or meaning means that you tend to drift in life within the confines of your comfort zone. Purpose and meaning in life gives you the courage to step out of your comfort zone — which is where you will find change and the opportunities it can offer to you.
3. Let Go of Your Regrets
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” — Steve Maraboli
Regrets have a huge impact on how you respond to change and they hold you back in life. Letting go of your regrets is key to you being able to move forward in life.
It is the events of change that present opportunities in life, so if are looking back at your past you may miss the opportunities of the present and the future.
You cannot change what you did or did not do in the past so let it go. The only control you have now is to choose to live in your present and future life.
A great exercise to deal with regrets in life is to blow up a heap of balloons and on each balloon write a regret. Then, let the balloon go. As the balloon drifts off, out loud say goodbye to that regret.
Very simple but an effective way of dealing with the pile of regrets that you have collected in your lives.
4. Write a List of Scary Things to Do — Then Go Do Them
Change is scary and it is all about stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown. Our subconscious needs to get familiar with us stepping out of a comfort zone and doing scary things. In fact we want to train our subconscious into believing that stepping out of our comfort zone and doing scary things is a normal thing for us to do.
Make a list of scary things that you would like to do but have been too afraid to. Put a plan in place and then go do them. Go have fun, challenge yourself and get yourself use to the feeling of being scared and stepping into the unknown.
Public speaking is one of the most frightening things for me and for many other people to do. To overcome my fear of public speaking, I joined Toast Masters My first speech I gave was a nightmare. My knees were knocking (didn’t know that was possible — but it is!) and I broke out in a sweat and my voice was a whisper when I started my speech.
I got through it and though it wasn’t the greatest speech the exhilaration of actually overcoming my fear was amazing. I kept going and know enjoy public speaking so much that I jump at any opportunity to speak.
5. Focus on Living a Balanced and Healthy Life
“To keep the body in good health is a duty…otherwise we shall not be able to keep the mind strong and clear.” — Buddha
Living a balanced and healthy active life builds our resilience and ability to successfully manage the disruption that change can have on our lives.
Stress is a normal response to dealing with changes and challenges in daily life. In the short term, stress can help you perform better under pressure, but constant stress can pose problems for your health.
Finding positive ways to deal with the stress and pressure that we face daily is key to our survival on both a physical and emotional level.
Some healthy lifestyle actions you can use to successfully manage change and disruption in your life are:
Eat a healthy diet.
Exercise regularly.
Reduce caffeine and sugar.
Avoid cigarettes, alcohol and other drugs.
Get enough sleep.
Practice mediation regularly
Take time out and disconnect from technology
Learn how to relax and have fun
Connect with others. Spend time with people who have a positive impact on your life.
There are many more things you can to do to live a health balanced life. The key is that you commit to activities that enable you to be resilient, optimistic, physically and mentally fit to successful work through the impact that change can bring to your life.
Take Away
1. Change your habits to change the life.
2. Emotional pain is momentary, the pain later on is reflection.
[1] Source: www.lifehack.org
